As a parent, I have learned that sometimes our children are forced to make some adult decisions but most of them are not prepared to live with their choices. The consequences can shape their entire life.With that in mind, we must remember that the early years are crucial to a child's emotional and social development. It's bad enough, that children are bombarded with so many conflicting messages from the media, which is another reason why proper parent/child communication is important.
A healthy self-image, self-esteem and self confidence go hand in hand. A problem with one can effect the overall development of the others. It could mean the difference between a child appropriately or inappropriately dealing with his/her problems.
Coincidently, the three terms are sometimes used interchangeably, but many people do not understand what self-esteem really means. Here's my opinion…..Self-esteem is developed early in life and it continues to change based on life experiences. Simply put it is a collection of perceptions and beliefs that we have about our self. That includes the good and bad, which is why it varies. It can also be shaped by relationships with others and our environment.
According to the National Association for Self Esteem, a younger child's self-esteem is shaped by how the parent reacts to him/her. As the child ages, perceptions shift. Then peers and the world become a bigger influence. This is another reason why early intervention is vital.
As parents, we are equipped with the necessary tools to help our children build a healthy self-esteem. However, this will require parents to be more aware of the messages they send their children. Like it or not, some children mirror the parent's negative behavior too. That's why it is important for parents to assess their parenting style, be better listeners, be non-judgmental and build a trusting relationship.
Some children have difficulty receiving criticism, so be mindful when discussing sensitive issues with your teen. Constantly expressing disapproval can cause him/her to be overly critical of themselves which could lead to more problems. Basis necessities like, praise and affection can boost self-esteem and increase a teen's capacity to deal with life.
For example, teens with healthy self-esteem will:Think positive thoughts about themselves Forgive themselves if they make mistakes Not be afraid to try new things Are not perfectionist Will set meaningful goals & follow through Don't feel the need to criticize others Enjoy helping othersOn the other hand, teens with low self-esteem will:
Try to live up to the expectations of others
May use drugs and/or drink alcohol
Engage in a lot of negative self-talk
Often compares themselves to others
Easily frustrated or loses temper
Afraid to try new things
Refuse to take responsibility for his/her actions
Everyone wants to feel loved, accepted and good about themselves, even if they never admit it. As parents, it is our responsibility to take the first step. Help your teen develop a healthy self-image. If necessary seek professional help. Believe me it is a worthwhile investment. Visit the National Association for Self-Esteem (NASE) website for more resources. You may also want to visit the Respect RX website.
Arlether Wilson is the author of the award winning memoir, "Rewriting the Script." She is also a veteran police officer, mentor and advocate for women and teens.Learn more about her work at http://www.msplinks.com/MDFodHRwOi8vd3d3LmFybGV0aGVyd2lsc29uLmNvbQ==.
© July, 2008
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